Louise

Healey · Fri Feb 17, 2006 11:37 pm Warning - Will offend

Hey all, the following joke is quite sick (please feel free to delete it if you are really offended) but I thought I would post it as there is a new DVD out called the "The Aristocrats" which is bloody funny. The following link also provides more variations on the joke (see the link, it might explain it more) http://www.dead-frog.com/aristocrats/.

Ok, here is one version:

A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us."

The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute."

The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us."

The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look."

The family quickly huddles up and as soon as the father yells break he pull a dark sheet over his head and falls to the ground.

The mom turns around with her sizable tits hanging out of her halter-top and a two-liter sized black strap on hanging from her legs.

Now, the brother and sister are truly special. Separated at birth they were re-united on the set of the daughter's 100th porno, The Singing Ass...she could actually sing out of her asshole. Anywho, during the first take her asshole touched the brother’s asshole and it was as if the Wonder Twins were uniting. At first they didn't know what to make of it, but as the guy she had been blowing shot his man juice down her throat, the brother quickly belched it out of his lips. The truly spectacular show came when she would swallow some nitro, some paint and a flaming sambuca... she had downed the nitro and the paint and was about to down the flaming sambuca as the mother jumped around the room.

The mother would wait for someone to speak, like the son saying: 'here comes the nitro' and she would jump in front of him, take the last word of the sentence and throw it into the phrase: 'I'll give you some Nitro!' and slap him silly with the strap on. As the agent said, "oh my bejesus!" she jumped over the desk, slapped him across the face a few times and said 'I’ll give you a bejesus!'. She took off the strap on and threw her twat into his face as they began to 69. just as he was about to cum she grabbed the strap on and shoved it wrist deep into his rectum.

at this moment the toothless dog was taking care of his 5th leg in the corner. a common sight for the well hung pooch except for the fact he had gotten into the sons lead star wars figurine set that morning. His cannon was loaded and the t-minus 10 countdown began as the father jumped out from under his sheet.

Nothing could have prepared Hitchcock, Stephen King or Welles for the monstrous werewolf the father had become. Add to this the rage at seeing what his wife was up to, and this 500-pound narley motherfucker was in the air heading for the agents throat. 3 - 2 - 1.

As the agent shit himself, the 2 liter black dildo came flying out of his ass and knocked the wife unconscious. The daughter swallowed the flaming sambuca and as her ass separated from her brothers, fireworks shot through the air. Sparky, the dog, arched his back and in all his glory let Luke Skywalker, Princess Leia, Darth Vader and about 40 storm troopers fly! Obi wan caught the brother upside the head and knocked him out. Boba Fett caught the sister in the temple and knocked her out. The fucking death star came out like Rosie O'Donnell running for the dessert tray. Bam! The father took it between the eyes and lay semi-conscious on the agent’s desk.

For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?"

And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

I did warn you!!!!!

lushlulu · Fri Feb 17, 2006 11:41 pm

ooh i wondered wot the joke was, thats the film with loadsa ppl just telling it isnt it? or something like that

Healey · Sat Feb 18, 2006 2:51 am

Yep, thats the one. For the first 30 minutes you start wondering what they are on about, and then it just suddenly clicks. The south park part of the dvd is too funny, it actually made my stomache hurt, it was that funny. And I can't believe, as you haven't seen the dvd, that you aren't offended in some way about it. I don't even want to hear one of your jokes :lol:

jonboy · Tue Feb 21, 2006 2:25 pm

I never understood the joke. And then I've always been afraid to ask just because I'd look stupid. Oh well.

brian j · Wed Mar 01, 2006 9:12 am

hmm me a bit confused but oklol